I'll Admit It.

I'm no dummy, but I am totally willing to admit that there are many (now seemingly ordinary) things that I just don't "get." I don't get how they work, I don't get how whoever figured out that they'd work that way, and I don't get why more people aren't constantly astonished by their complexity.

Here is what I mean:

#1. Light bulbs

I was driving yesterday on the highway and it looked like a storm might be rolling in. I thought, "Better turn my headlights on," then remembered that I have daytime running lights. Then I thought, "I wonder if cars that don't have daytime running lights also have bulbs that last longer?" But then I ruminated further..."I don't even remember the last time I had to have any of my lights replaced. Wow, these lights last for a really long time. I wonder how that is possible when it's really just these tiny little wires that make the light..." And I really started to think about all of the lights in my house, all of the street lamps and the refrigerator bulbs. I know that sometimes I have to change bulbs, but I am suddenly really impressed by all the hard work these little guys do.

If you really want to know how they work (and I tried reading it, but I'm happier being amazed), click here.

#2.  Television

You'd be startled to know how often I think of Mike Teevee from Willy Wonka mischievously and arrogantly converting himself into TV/radio waves when I think about how television works. Picture me, gazing at the ceiling, looking for the bajillions of colorful little dots floating overhead to conveniently (and quickly!) form images on the screen.

I know it doesn't work like that though.

Those colorful dots don't float overhead, they come from the Comcast building through cables.

If you're a wicked dork, click here for more info about what really happens.

p.s. this is the same way I feel about the radio.

#3. Ugly Food

On a totally different note, I think a lot about whose ridiculous idea it was to actually eat the ugliest foods out there.

I'd like to watch a YouTube video of the kid that saw a lobster and decided to boil it (or not?) and eat it. His friends were all like, "Dude, we triple dog dare you to eat that big ugly ocean scorpion!" And he was all,"Alright, I'd do that." And then, to his surprise, it was the most delicious thing he'd ever tasted and he wouldn't let his friends have any and demanded that they go churn some cream and let it sit in the sun to melt so he could dip his ocean scorpion in it. Lucky.

How about the Native American (presumably)who was cooking some old, dried up corn over the fire hoping it was still good to eat and then got popcorn?! He's like, "Whoa, this shit is blowin' up!" and then he called over the guys with the sun-melted churned cream and asked them to also bring along some white cheddar powder. Mmmm.

If you are totally gullible and don't believe in science, you might consider this to be the truth.

Then, of course, we have to remember the hungry girl who was wandering through a field who stumbled upon a big green gourd. She whips out her machete (yeah, she has a machete...she's alone in a field)and slices it in half, revealing a wet flesh the color of the wildest sunset. Can you imagine how freakin' pleased with yourself you'd be if you discovered watermelon?** It's sweet, refreshing and there's so much of it! Granted, it isn't all that ugly and it isn't quite as much of a crazy thing to consider eating, but the rewards of being the one to introduce it to others (unlike lobster...you'd keep that to yourself for a while) would be so so great. I might just pretend I discovered it some day and tell my friends about it, then watch their eyes light up as they try it.

I wonder if she knew that she should spit out the seeds or a watermelon tree (yeah, tree) would grow inside her. I bet it took a while for them to figure that out. (The hard way.)

IF you want to know how it supposedly actually happened...click.

**whoaaa...when you Google "Watermelon" there is a surprising number of images of square ones made for easier shipping! Imagine being the one who discovered it seeing what it's come to today! Like Encino Man...but Watermelon Discoverer Girl.