Uncle Henry's

"We live in the city of dreams
We drive on this highway of fire
Should we awake
And find it gone
Remember this, our favorite town"

-Talking Heads, "City of Dreams"

There are a lot of things you take for granted when you grow up in Maine. The smell of the ocean in the morning, the friendliness of the weird old guy who gives your car an inspection sticker without so much as opening the door, and the fact that your dad gets lobster for...free.

Before I moved to Massachusetts for college (and well before Craig made his "list"), I took for granted the greatest publication Maine has to offer: Uncle Henry's. It's a small (but thick!) catalog made of newsprint that sits in front of any and every cash register from Hussey's in Windsor (deserves it's own post) to your local gas station. What is inside is what counts. 

For a nominal fee, anyone can list whatever it is that they are offering to sell, trade or buy. The ad is limited to 40 words or so, and no pictures are printed.It was the only place I ever went to look for a litter of kittens to persuade my mom with. It was the only place we looked for used cars for my brother and myself. Uncle Henry's was also the only place you could find all of the things you never knew it was possible (or appropriate) to sell. 

The best part about Uncle Henry's is the fact that there is no quality control whatsoever. None. You submit your ad from the form on the back of the catalog, and whatever it is you wrote would be printed, as is. I don't know who Uncle Henry was, or if he knew how to read, but it really doesn't matter. The simplicity of the publication and the overall lack of concern about details and general grammar is what makes it so great, and so Maine.

Luckily for all of us, the publication has made its way online (did you hear? Maine got internet last year.) and is now accessible to all. This means I can show you real time examples rather than trying to recall some of the better posts I've seen in my day. 

Here are just a couple to whet your appetite until you can scramble to Maine to buy your very own copy:

From the "Pets & Accessories" department (my go-to as a kid):

"Rats for sale from pinkies the med sized no large available dont raise that big for pets or snake food matters not to me all very healthy fed better than most i assure you well cared for all pet quality handled daily no biters price depends on size and quantity bur fair i assure you raise for my own use but have a surplus right now prices start at $1.00"

Thank you. 

Under "Wanted":


"I'm looking for a job for me to do. I'm very good with photography and cleaning. I could be a wonderful house cleaner. I live near presque isle so let me know if you need anyone! sarahjclarkx3@aim.com" 


Ok, Sarah...I'll give you a call.


These are always kind of sad, but sooo Uncle Henry's material:


"3pc weddind ring set. Man\Woman \ Engagement Ring.Womens 7-8,Mens 6-7 +/-. Matching set. 10k gold ea. Engagement ring only worn for a few mths. Other two rings never worn. Probably would need to be sized for someone. Purchased at G. M. Pollack and Sons. sell $299.trades-Good Kayak w/paddle. laptop w/cdrom (no oldies).Partial trades also, electric trolling motor(w/canoe bracket a plus) more thrust the better,other things of interest. What you got? Thanks" 

My friend (and loyal reader) Hannah is the only person I've met since moving from Maine who really "gets" Uncle Henry's. I knew we'd be friends for a long time when she told me about how she and her dad would play a game with UH - Hannah would read the descriptions of trailer homes for sale, and her dad would have to guess how much said trailer would go for on the UH market.  

This one is for you, Hanner...


"In decent shape roof doesn't leak needs a little work on the inside would trade for gun, or sled. call 694-0361"

***

What's your guess? 


*** I hesitated when posting the picture here, because that is NOT a luxury UH readers/buyers have. You have to use your imagination!